One would think that February is a very romantic month with thoughts of love, Valentines Day, candy and flowers but the only flowers that I was around was the flowers delivered in the hospital to my mom. One never knows how they will handle death, dying or real sick people and when it is a loved one, it becomes even more difficult. Now that we are on the other side and mom is back home and doing the things that she used to do, I think it is easier to handle but the month was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
I wish that I had some wisdom to pass on or I thought it might be easier the next time but I have nothing to give. If not for my wife and own kids I don't think I could have survived-it's funny because my brother was not really involved although I called him to update each day. Most of the conversations I don't remember-I know that he said that if she died and her wish is to be cremated to go ahead with the cremation as he didn't need to see her! I know that he cares but he just handles things differently than I. The care mom got in the hospital was good-even though there were some mistakes made she (we) survived them. The kids were the best-just listening to me was the best. I wish now I could sit with someone and have them listen but I don't know who would listen...maybe this summer I can sit and talk either with coffee or even better a brown soda about what happened and my feelings. Later I will share the angel story.
Peace from Missouri